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.I Hope I Don't Overdose.

.On Empty Promises And Beautiful Pictures.

8/4/06 02:28 pm

SSensual
TTemperamental
EExtreme
PPerfect
HHaunting
LLoving
OOrganic
VVirile
EEntertaining
SSilly
HHot
EEccentric
RRadiant
DDevious
OOrderly
LLucky
LLegendary
FFamous
AAstonishing
CCareful
EElitist

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Name Acronym Generator
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8/4/06 12:18 pm

You know how I am
And you know how I get
When there's things you leave out
I get jealous
Yet you still insist to keep me locked out
You've left me in the dark
I don't even know what you're about anymore

I lock myself away
And I won't pretend I'm alright
But for you it's a different story
Cause you're a diffferent person each night
And you say it's over
Then I believe I lost my best friend
There isn't life without you
So I guess this is the end

CHORUS:
We'll be like Kurt and Courtney
You'll go off the deep end and kill me
I know I'll never understand
We'll be like Kurt and Courtney
You'll go off the deep end and kill me
You know you're right
You know how I'm like
We'll be like Kurt and Courtney
You'll go off the deep end and kill me
You won't live right until I've died
You'll blame it all on suicide

Light a match
Burn me out
I can't live on
If you always let me down
I'll hide away into my grave
If it means I don't have to see your face
Ever- Ever-

CHORUS:
We'll be like Kurt and Courtney
You'll go off the deep end and kill me
I know I'll never understand
We'll be like Kurt and Courtney
You'll go off the deep end and kill me
You know you're right
You know how I'm like
We'll be like Kurt and Courtney
You'll go off the deep end and kill me
You won't live right until I've died
You'll blame it all on suicide

Kill me believe
Cause saviors don't bleed
Don't look for truth i
In those who don't have answers
I won't trust you
I'll only run faster

CHORUS:
We'll be like Kurt and Courtney
You'll go off the deep end and kill me
I know I'll never understand
We'll be like Kurt and Courtney
You'll go off the deep end and kill me
You know you're right
You know how I'm like
We'll be like Kurt and Courtney
You'll go off the deep end and kill me
You won't live right until I've died
You'll blame it all on suicide

7/30/06 07:38 pm - bahaha

Mest
What Do You Think Of...
Tony Lovato?:Sexiest man alive. And my biggest idol.
Nick Gigler?:Damn, boy. He can rap.
Jeremiah (Jere) Rangel?:Aw, cute. He speaks fake japanese while drunk!
Matt lovato?:Must say, that was a long stoner story.
If you were in Mest Would You...
Drink A lot?:Probably
Jump In Hot Tubs and Pools with Matt and Tony?:Most likely
Do Naked Cartwheels With Tony?:I might
Take Pictures of Doing Naked Cartwheels With Tony?:Possibly
Smoke with Nick?:Yeah, I guess, lol
Randomly Jump On Stage Even though No One Knows Who You Are But The Band?:DEFINATLY
Tony Walks Into Your room and Randomly Sits in Your Lap...
You Say...:Hey sexy, where're you sleeping tonight?
What Do you Do?:Let him sit there...
Your Look With Mest
Would You Represent Them?:Fuck yeah
Would You Get A Special tattoo With Them?:Sure
Would You Get A Piercing With Them?:Hells yes.
Would You Wear The Same Clothes As Them Just To Piss Them Off?:YES. Pissing people off = <3
First Idea That Comes To Mind...
Tony wanting a bedtime buddy...:This is so where I parked my car!
Jere needs help with his underwear...:Allow me
Matt throws all your pads and tampons around the bus to make it decoration:Well, at least I'll be able to find them when I need them.
Nick steals ALL Your Spoons...:Go forks.
Would You Be Friends With...
Good Charlotte?:MD REPRESENT
Goldfinger?:Def.
Rancid?:Of course.
First Idea That Comes To Mind(Part 2)
Tony and Matt are sitting in your bunk....:No incest in this bunk, we have Nick's bunk for that.
Jere jumps into a pile of Care Bears and DOESN'T Give You Any...:He can keep them?
Nick can't find his drumsticks...:Use stick sticks?
Matt has a wedgie...:Pick it?
You Find Tony and Benji (GC) in the bathtub with hershey's syrup....:Incoming!
You find Jere and Matt together making out because they're drunk...:Video tape it, then youtube it? Lol, jk.
Basic
What instrument would you play?:Guitar...
Would you want the guys to call you?:My name...
Would have have any "intimate connections" with any of the members?:All.
Would you leave them?:Hell no.
Final Questions
Tony has pretty eyes, doesn't he?:Yesss
Jere's pretty tall, isn't he?:Yess
Don't You Just Wish This Would All Come True?!:Yessssss
Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d

7/30/06 07:21 pm

Choose One Band/Singer and Answer the Questions Using Song Titles
Describe Youself:::"Rebel With A Reason"
Do you drink?:::"Beer"
How do you feel about people in General?:::"Until I Met You"
Are you in love?:::"2000 Miles"
Tell me something about your significant other:::"Chelsea"
Favorite animal?:::"Graveyard"
Favorite color?:::"Night Alone"
Are you bored?:::"Hotel Room"
Who's your best friend?:::"Electric Baby"
Did you know pigs can fly?:::"Long Days, Long Nights"
I hate you!:::"Last Time"
Watcha gonna do about it?:::"Ghostbusters"
How do you like to spend your time?:::"Drawing Board"
Do you like to dance?:::"Cadillac"
What are you doing right this very second?:::"Girl For Tonight"
So tell me about yourself:::"Is This The End?"
Now tell me about your family:::"To All My Homies"
What are you most proud of?:::"Wasting Time"
Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d

7/28/06 02:20 pm - "Cold Hands"

My head is an empty room
Thoughts cut in and memories scar the walls
And my mind is an open wound
People come into my life and then fall away
And I hate this feeling
I'm not gonna drag you down
I won't pull you under as I drown

CHORUS:
I lost too many to my frozen state
I left behind too much to take
There's nothing left if I were to go back
So take away the cold
Take these hands and mend away their cracks

My words are broken
I cannot speak a single solem phrase
And my eyes are sewn shut
So I can't see the downfall of these days
And you know I'm trying
But I've gotta let you go
I can't let out what's wrong
So you need to run before I let you know

CHORUS:
I lost too many to my frozen state
I left behind too much to take
There's nothing left if I were to go back
So take away the cold
Take these hands and mend away their cracks

And if you're one person to hurt
I won't take the chance
I couldn't live with the guilt
I wanna die by your side
Just take you hand and hold it in mine

CHORUS:
I lost too many to my frozen state
I left behind too much to take
There's nothing left if I were to go back
So take away the cold
Take these hands and mend away their cracks

7/9/06 06:02 pm - "The Addict"

You were possibly the best broken heart
From the tears I cried
To the times I've died
You make me keep myself close
There's a fear inside me
That makes grief stay beside me
And the disease is being alone
Push me away, say anything
I won't walk away from you.

CHORUS:
This misery is addictive
The way you pour your poison
I part my lips
I close my eyes to help this noise end
You don't know it now
But I'm dying inside my own heart
Because it's sickness that sets us apart

I hate you
Yet you stand alone inside my head
Everything else falls away to nothing
But you still stay for something
And I pushed myself to the end
Brought myself back with a heart to mend
And yet you still hold back
You keep your needles close
And freedom closer
And a whisper
I won't walk away from you.

CHORUS:
This misery is addictive
The way you pour your poison
I part my lips
I close my eyes to help this noise end
You don't know it now
But I'm dying inside my own heart
Because it's sickness that sets us apart

And I hate you
Don't walk away from this
Cause I hate you
Don't turn back
And I hate you
I need you here
And I hate the fear
Loosing you isn't an option
When you're the only thing I have left

CHORUS:
This misery is addictive
The way you pour your poison
I part my lips
I close my eyes to help this noise end
You don't know it now
But I'm dying inside my own heart
Because it's sickness that sets us apart

It's worse then addiction after you can't stop.

7/5/06 08:38 pm - Hell.

This week has been hell.

This is the song (which I can't stand, it sucks so badly) that shows what I was feeling on Sunday.

"You were possibly the best broken heart
From the tears I cried
To the times I've died
You make me keep myself close
There's a fear inside me
That makes grief stay beside me
And the disease is being alone
Push me away, say anything
I won't walk away from you.

This misery is addictive
The way you pour your poison
I part my lips
I close my eyes to help this noise end
You don't know it now
But I'm dying inside my own heart
Because it's sickness that sets us apart

I hate you."

It's not about anyone in particular. It's mostly about the fury within me.

I know my flaws now. They're up on my myspace blog, and I don't feel like rewritting them.

This is the song I wrote yesterday, and I like it a lot:

"Once, I had it all
I had it made
I had the girl
I had the friends
...Before I had the blade
I took the chance
I let me go
I let me go and I fell away from you
Fell away from myself
Lost it all because I wouldn't ask for help
Help for you
Help for me
I'm running in circles
But you will never see the truth
How much I won't ever mean to you
To you, to you
But you mean more then life itself to me
So much that when you're gone
I can't breathe
Breathe into me

Breathe into me
One last time"

And then I wrote a "To Accomplish" list:

#1. Fall in love
#2. Make Dad smile
#3. Get a straight A report card
#4. Read the entire dictionary
#5, Finsih writting a novel
#6. Record a song
#7. Play a gig
#8. Sing in front of a crowd
#9. Get my lisence
#10. Get an abnormal peircing
#11. Weight 135 pounds
#12. Have a job
#13. Recieve a compliment from a musician
#14. Dance in the rain with someone special
#15. Sew myself an outfit
#16. Be a geek
#17. Turn 16 happily
#18. Apply to college
#19. Have a facial/nail painting sleepover
#20. Take an extrodinary picture

Pathetic. Yeah, that's me.

6/25/06 12:43 am - "Severna Park (Almost Home)"

Passed out on the cold hard floor
A wasted hour, I could've done more with
Hit me with the bathroom door
I didn't know there was anything wrong
I didn't know that I was so damn-
Bad at setting good examples
So bad at calling all the shots
I need you to lead me
I need you to need me
There is no other way to speak of
The things that I can't live without
You being at the top of that list

CHORUS:
And I'm in search of an antidote
I need a cure for what you've given me
I'm behind your locked door
But you are the only living key
And this road we've chosen to take
It leads me to believe
That I've gotta run to move on or break
But I'm seeing street signs that I know
I'm almost home
And I'm almost home

Five more stairs to fall back down on
You're looking at six more ways that you can fail
Here I go, lying out on
Everything you've rolled out so far
Your dreams drempt up
And your not done sleeping
You'll hear me in your head until you wake up
You're life is destined
But you arn't living
I'll be in your lungs until you know you've fuct up

CHORUS:
And I'm in search of an antidote
I need a cure for what you've given me
I'm behind your locked door
But you are the only living key
And this road we've chosen to take
It leads me to believe
That I've gotta run to move on or break
But I'm seeing street signs that I know
I'm almost home
And I'm almost home

So it feels like I'm wrapped in simply your cold
And it feels like I'm so naked
I'm that story you never told
I try to scream back to you to tell you
But you're dancing away your fears
You can't see that I am out here
You don't look at the reflection in your tears
Cause if you paid a second of attention
You'd realise I'm a feather in suspension
Frozen. Solitaire. Acapello.
Almost Home.

CHORUS:
And I'm in search of an antidote
I need a cure for what you've given me
I'm behind your locked door
But you are the only living key
And this road we've chosen to take
It leads me to believe
That I've gotta run to move on or break
But I'm seeing street signs that I know
I'm almost home
And I'm almost home

I'm almost home
Is this what you wanted?
To make me hurt
Well I'm not scared
You're going to burn
Is this why you threw me aside?
To play your cards and watch my eyes.
I'm not blindly lost anymore...
I recognise that I'm alone
And that I'm almost home

CHORUS:
And I'm in search of an antidote
I need a cure for what you've given me
I'm behind your locked door
But you are the only living key
And this road we've chosen to take
It leads me to believe
That I've gotta run to move on or break
But I'm seeing street signs that I know
I'm almost home
And I'm almost home

I'm alone.
But almost home...

6/6/06 10:02 pm

Aan zij. Zij die voor altijd mijn zal zijn. Mijn wereld, mijn hoop, mijn droom, mijn ziel, mijn partner, mijn vriend, mijn liefde. Mijn alles. Ongebroken harten die samen zonder één enkele aanraking worden genaaid. Voor altijd is van ons, te houden van ons. Met een hoge aspiratie, en een duidelijke classificatie houd ik u voor altijd boven de rest. Lippen die als koele draaien van de winter aan het de zomers decietful lot worden verzegeld. De zomer waarin de nacht starring onderaan sterren in een hoop van het raken van u wordt doorgebracht. Een zachte melodie zingt voor altijd in mijn hoofd, de sleutel aan u aangezien het pas in één enkel woord ligt dat van zes wordt gemaakt. Sylables, dergelijke liggende egoïstische nog vriendelijke woorden. Wij tevreden om de stem van dat te horen die signifigant aan ons is. Mijn signifigant is u. Als u in mijn prescense, was en me om vroeg te buigen, zou ik en sob dalen. Zuivere whiff van dat die u roept nam van uw scent toe nooit touchable- zal zijn nog ik wil, vereist, dit wenst op het. Als ik ooit keek op wat zij Dolly roepen, en wat ik Lee synchroniseer, kan ik door schuld worden verblind van het bekijken het mooiste ding daar ooit was geweest. De liefde is dat van die u voor altijd geeft. En ik geef voor altijd. Ik houd van u.

6/6/06 09:59 pm

To she. She who shall forever be mine. My world, my hope, my dream, my soul, my mate, my friend, my love. My everything. Unbroken hearts sewn together without a single touch. Forever is ours, ours to keep. With a high aspiration, and a clear classification- I forever hold you one above the rest. Lips sealed as winter's cool turns to summers decietful fate. A summer in which night is spent starring down stars in a hope of touching you. A soft melody forever sings in my head, the key to you as it lies pass in a single word made of six. Sylables, such lying- selfish- yet kind words. We please to hear the voice of that which is a signifigant to ourselves. My signifigant is you. If you were in my prescense, and asked me to bow, I'd drop and sob. A mear whiff of that which you call the rose of your scent will never be touchable- yet I want, need, wish upon it. If I ever looked upon what they call Dolly, and what I dub Lee, I may be blinded by guilt of looking at the most beautiful thing there ever had been. Love is that of which you forever care. And I forever care. I love you.
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